The simple answer is to bring your home with you. However, it can get a little more complex than that. Home sickness can happen to anybody. It can even be incredibly debilitating.
For some people, the feeling of anxiety, stress, and ‘lostness’ can be too much for them. They could begin to feel like they simply cannot deal with their current situation. It could even cause anxiety or panic attacks.
This is even worse for people who are already predisposed for those types of things. Or, perhaps even worse, somebody who thinks they aren’t predisposed. For people who don’t expect to feel homesick, it can be even worse when they do.
It’s like suddenly winning the jackpot casino by jokingly pulling a slot machine lever while walking past. You weren’t expecting it, so it came as all the more a surprise.
They weren’t ready for the sudden feelings of sadness and longing. It could make them feel even worse than someone who knows they can feel that way.
But, what causes those feelings of homesickness? What sort of mindset can make someone feel like they want to just go back to their house, curl up in their bed, and sleep forever.
I would like to share with you some of the reasons you may begin to feel homesick. In addition, I would like to try and help you find some ways to alleviate those feelings, and make extended stays away from home more comfortable.
One final note is that this is more for people who are staying away from home for extended periods. Perhaps weeks, months, or even years. It will apply to those who are staying for only short periods as well, but it’s not the main focus.
Table of Contents
Why feel homesick?
First of all, why do we feel homesick at all? Especially if we are in a place we want to be. If you are on vacation, you are away from home on purpose! So why can you still sometimes feel like you just want to go home?
And, secondly, let’s say you are staying away somewhere. You went to a boarding school, you are at college, or otherwise are staying in a new domicile for an extended period of time.
That situation can cause homesickness as well. Sure, you are away from home for longer, but shouldn’t it be more comfortable? You are essentially just in a new home. When on vacation, you have the thought of going home in the back of your mind.
To begin, I personally think that it has to do with how well we feel we belong, how accepted we feel, how familiar we are with our surroundings, and how at ease we are.
Firstly, you need to feel that you belong in whatever place you are in if you want it to feel like home. Home is where your loved ones are. Your family, generally, will always be the one group of people you can rely on to accept you.
Therefore, if you don’t feel accepted there can be this kind of dysphoria between your surroundings and how you feel. You are supposed to be making a new home, but it doesn’t feel like the place wants to be your new home.
Next, we need to be familiar and comfortable with our surroundings. Familiarity breeds contempt is an old saying. It means that if you are familiar with something, you can begin to lose care or respect for it.
However, this is just because of the intimate relation you have with that thing. It is so common to you, you are able to easily take it for granted. There is certainly a hominess to that relationship.
In addition, just knowing how everything goes in the place you live makes it feel more like it is your space. When there is that awkward feeling of unsureness around where things should go and how you feel about the place you live, it can make your life feel uncomfortable.
In addition, it is incredibly important how accepted we feel by whatever place we are in. It doesn’t matter how much you have done to make yourself familiar with your surroundings, it is going to make you feel bad if all of your roommates act like you don’t belong.
That feeling of belonging is incredibly essential. Humans are inherently social creatures. We strive for and thrive off of the connections we have and make with other people. If you begin to lose those connections and people turn us away, it can take a huge toll on our morale.
This in turn then makes you feel homesick because you crave for that feeling of belonging and acceptance in your family unit. You know your parents love you, (and your siblings if you have. Or just anyone else who lives with you.) and that gives you comfort.
So, when you go to a new place and suddenly lose those bonds and connections, it can make you feel wrong. You have lost that social peace in your life, and you haven’t found new relationships to replace the ones you left behind.
Feelings of Peace
This is also why it is important to stay connected with the people that are important to you. Don’t give up on the relationships you had to leave behind, especially if it is only temporary.
That is the first step to alleviating that feeling of homesickness. You need to keep your ties to home. It’s important to remind yourself that home is never gone, if you keep it in your heart. New place, but there are still people who love and care for you.
Another big tip is to do whatever you need to to make where you are staying feel like it is your space. If that means putting up posters, or setting decorations, then do it! Whatever you need to feel at home is what you should be doing.
Obviously there might be limits based on the rules of where you are staying, but in general there will always be something you can do to turn a space to be more yours.
Besides changing the space itself, a huge thing that helped me was to do normal things to familiarize me with the place I was staying.
Use the bathroom and read a book! Take a shower and sing a bit! Do the things you would do in a place you call home to make you feel more comfortable about the space.
The simplest thing, yet the biggest thing that made me feel at home was when I pulled out my laptop and headphones and did some work. I’ve never done it outside my room at home before, so it helped me quite a bit to relax.
It was just the normality of it! It helped me feel like it was my space, and I can do normal things and feel comfortable there. It truly helped me to feel more homey when I was away from home.
One final note is to not be shy or ashamed to bring the things you need to make you feel more at home. If you want to bring a stuffed animal or something, then I say go for it! It’s all about you, and how you can feel more at peace.
